I haven’t updated in over two weeks. I rarely go on here anymore, which might be for the best. I think in a way I’ve sort of outgrown tumblr- it was a great thing three and a half years ago when I didn’t know what I was doing or what I was meant to be or anything. It was a good place for me.

But in a way I’ve kind of moved on. I’m at a good place in my life, I’m in college, I have a sense of what I’m doing in the future, I have a loving boyfriend, a good relationship with my parents, I’m independent, I have a job, and I make good grades. No matter how much I grow though, this blog of mine will always hold a little place in my heart. I’ve poured so much time and energy and memories and love into it, and I don’t want to forget that.

I rarely update this anymore, except for the occasional pretty picture or blurb about my life. I feel like it’s a shadow of my past. Some posts that I read from three years ago are things that I’ve completely forgotten, events that I’ve tucked away into hibernation until they were awakened by my prying into the depths of this blog of mine. I wish tumblr were still a personal thing, but it’s not. It’s basically just like facebook now. I can’t put anything on here that I wouldn’t shout out to the entire world. 

I suppose I could live without you if I wanted, and if I was ever put in a situation to leave you I could physically do it. But I don’t want to, and I don’t want to imagine how that would ever feel. 

Right now I miss you more than ever. Summer of 2011 seems like yesterday, yet so long ago. I want nothing more than to be in your arms right now, to be the little spoon, and to feel you sleeping next to me.

I’m jealous of the couples that can spend their afternoons together the way we used to, watching TV and going grocery shopping and making dinner for your parents. I’m jealous of the way they can take cute pictures instead of screenshots on Skype, and I wish we could hug each other instead of our laptops. 

A month and a half until summer, a month until our one year anniversary. It’s not so hard most of the time. And every second is worth it. 

Someone cure me

I’m going to turn in my Sephora job applications today to two different Sephora locations. This summer I just want a fun, easy job in a field that I’ve always had an interest in, so we’ll see how it goes. 

hair uppp

Made the dean’s list this quarter ajsdkjasfd :DDDD

Doing well in college isn’t even completely for for myself anymore. I have to do well so I can transfer back in state so my parents won’t have to continue doing metaphorical backflips to pay for my ridiculous tuition.

It’d be nice to transfer to my original first choice, U of Michigan, where my boyfriend happens to go, but the truth is it’d be just as expensive as my current situation. People are always telling me to do things for my own happiness but sometimes things are bigger than yourself.